Not the midnight train to Georgia, nor a trip to a Turkish Prison, RiD Midnight Express!

Robots in Disguise is a series that works well because it never stops long enough to take itself seriously. From RiD Megatron’s initial entrance in his gigantic hand alt-mode to the slapstick wonderful-ness that is the Predacon Skybyte, nothing much about the series is meant to be taken at more than face value. Therefore when — somewhere around the third episode — we are introduced to a trio of Autobots with train alt-modes that combine into the exceptionally powerful Rail Racer, it is all taken in stride. In a later episode Sky-byte then attempts to disguise himself as Team Bullet Train’s combined form, unfortunately Sky-byte takes that part a bit too literally.

Very convincing.

However, note to all future Rail Racer cosplayers: don’t make your costume out of cardboard and paper if you plan to take it into battle.

Definitely less convincing.

To make a long story short (too late!), certainly not a series that is shooting for high drama. One of the trio that makes up Team Bullet Train is Midnight Express, whose odd choice of name could not be further from his personality; a slightly prissy, mostly befuddled british-sounding chap that has serious problems telling sentient from non-sentient machinery. During the episode “Secret Weapon: D-5″, Midnight Express appears to actually believe that the old steam locomotive “Granpda” is sentient.

Hmmm, now he looks familiar.

With great reverence for the old train, Midnight Express takes considerable exception to the Predacon’s attempt to hijack it.

Gut blast. Ouch.

Putting aside signs of early on-set senility, Midnight Express proves to be a surprisingly capable warrior. As the lower portion of Team Bullet Train’s combined form, he also proves to have a very awkwardly proportioned lower half.

Definitely not the guy you want on the other soccer team.

Though there is mechanism for extending his torso, there is no real attempt to hide that these are legs meant for a much bigger ‘bot.

The torso extension can only do so much when his knee bends at mid-thigh.

This is a pity because, much like the rest of the RiD toys, he has otherwise great articulation.

Just try not think about the fact that my relative leg circumference puts Chun-Li's to shame.

This guy is just covered in paint applications too. From the autobot symbol to this great “Max Cybertron” logo on the side.

Oooo, sparkly blue paint.

Now maybe there’s something about guys and trains, but I really, really like his alt-mode.

It may lack the blatant power of an old-fashioned locomotive, but there is no doubting how much muscle these newer, sleeker E4 bullet trains have. This bi-level train is able to go 150 mph (240 km/h) carrying over 1,600 people. Of course, the more I think about it, the more dangerous it would seem to have this much power in the hands of a 150 mile-an-hour robot Alzheimer’s patient.

"Get off me! And stop calling me Grandpa, you crazy Autobot!"