Me am Bizarro Optimus Prime, me am not Animated Toxitron!

At Botcon in 2005 a panel was held displaying some of the “TF Rarities”. This included the proposed, but never released Universe Toxitron.

Glorious pea-soup and purple.

A repaint of the original G2 Laser Optimus Prime done in amazingly garish (and awesome) colours, sadly Toxitron would never see the light of day due to the fact that the Universe line was swiftly running out of steam. He was then used in Botcon 2007′s “Things you’ve never seen before (and will never get)” display.

The morning of my flight out to Pasadena for Botcon this year, I checked my phone to see an announcement by the Botcon folks over Twitter in which they named one of the souvenir sets as “Toxi./SS”. I immediately thought “Toxitron?!?!” This naturally lead me to suspect a repaint of the recently released Reveal the Shield Optimus Prime. Being a new mold based on the G2 Laser Optimus Prime, it seemed like the most obvious answer.

What I forgot to take into account was this year’s theme of Animated.

I was in the Botcon registration line later that same day when my phone went off again. It was Botcon twittering images of the exclusives.

Animated Toxitron in all his glorious pea-soup and clashing purple! The best part is that his bio then sets him up to be a failed clone of Optimus Prime. He is powerful, leaks toxic fluids, and dumber than a nail. He wields illegally modified copies of Optimus’ weapons, the ion axe and toxic sludge spewing cannon.

Acting the opposite of the heroic Optimus, this failed clone is pretty much the Animated universe’s answer to Bizarro, the anti-Superman. Toxitron even tends to drive backwards while in vehicle mode. True to his toxic nature, his paintjob features splotches of oozing, dripping toxic fluids.

Just like with Optimus, you can remove his axe and cannon pieces to form a standard semi-truck tractor.

All-in-all the souvenir exclusives this year went from awesome to even awesome-er, with this guy standing right near the top of the pile. There was only one that trumped him, by having an even more garish paintjob.

But that’s a post for another day.

 

Fisitron, reporting for duty… as Animated Ironfist!

I figure since this blog is supposed to be about the pieces of plastic and my Botcon photos were relatively light on said plastic, I would make today a two-for-one spotlighting two of the plastic pieces picked up at said Botcon. Full circle, right?

Here we have Animated Fisitron:

And by "Fisitron" I mean Ironfist. Skirting copyright infringement is fun!

So, here’s the deal (and why this particular homage is so freaking cool): Ironfist first showed up back in G1, but not American G1. He appeared as part of the Lightformers sub-group (using the word “group” loosely, as there were only two of them) in Europe in 1993, two years after G1 had ended in America. He was then re-released in the G2 line the next year. He kind of sat there as a relative unknown all the way until 2010. Completely by coincidence, this was the year that both Fun Publications and IDW choose to rescue him from obscurity and use him in separate stories, creating two different versions of him, one in the IDW G1 universe and one in the FP Timelines universe.

Ironfist met his untimely demise in IDW’s “Last Stand of the Wreckers” series, a series I have already addressed my opinion on in an earlier post.

He then met a second untimely demise in part 6 of FP’s “The Coming Storm” storyline. Fun Publications has, albeit to a lesser degree, fallen back on the exact same death angle for shock value. Different writers, same weak writing.

Sorry, that’s enough of my whining about bad comic book writing.

Hey! You know what universe seems to have consistently awesome writing? Animated. Ironfist has been portrayed as a weapons specialist in all of his appearances and it is in that capacity that he plays a part in the Botcon 2011 “Stunti-Con-Job” story. Granted, he does get roughed up, but he lives, thanks to the timely appearance of field medic Minerva. When we meet him, Ironfist has been knocked around pretty seriously by thieves that have stolen a number of his experimental modified weaponry, including a duplicate of the axe Ironfist made for his old friend, Optimus Prime.

For his toy, the problem is, thanks to a certain Marvel Comics character, the name “Ironfist” is off limits. This is why our expert in weapons modifications was released as “Fisitron”.

"I wonder if I could modify this gun to fire guns." (Wheeljack would be so proud.)

“Fisitron”, an anagram of “Ironfist”, was the screenname used by Ironfist in the IDW comics for writing his fanboy entries about the legendary Autobot task force, the Wreckers — making this an homage within an homage.

The mold used for Ironfist was first used in the main Animated toyline for Cybertron Mode Ratchet. It was then released, with a remolded head for Animated Ironhide. His alt mode has been described as a “Cybertronian Minibus” but to me it looks more van than bus.

Once again with a remolded head, it has been used for both Botcon 2011′s free attendee toy, Ironfist, as well as the 3 -pack “Troop Builder” set of Autotroopers.

The one part of the Botcon exclusives I did not buy this year. The Animated Autotroopers just didn't do it for me.

Setting aside that I have the mold in Ironfist and the bland white and black paintjob, the Autotrooper harkens back to the Autorooper characters used in the unsavory, obscenely inappropriate Kissplay series. [Clicking on that link is not suggested. I am not being prudish when I call a majority of anything related to Kissplay obscene.]

Anywho, I absolutely love Ironfist. I have not been this happy with the free attendee exclusive yet and those colours make for a wonderful display piece.

Botcon 2011: The Con!

Due to the fact that there are 82 images total (and that’s out of the 170 that I actually took total), I’m going to split my Botcon photo recap into 4 posts total, with themed galleries. Unfortunately, there doesn’t appear to be a way to set WordPress to allow images to open in a separate window from a gallery, so you might want to right-click to look at the larger images.

That said, first up: the miscellaneous Convention stuffs. Enjoy!

The positively ridiculous attempt by the “Cafe Express” to make their foodstuffs Transformer themed. For some reason a hotdog called “Dark of the Moon” just doesn’t sound appealing to me.

Walking to registration we came across these great banners advertising the Hall of Fame event. Sadly the event didn’t really live up to the $45 price tag. I hope in the future they go back to having the normal dinner with the Hall of Fame, like they did last year.

My friend, Ben, shows off his new tattoo as we wait in the registration line. The toys are great, most of the panels are fun, the dealer room is mind-melting amounts of awesome, but the true spirit of Botcon is all about the friends you make.

The friends are also what make the great big lines not only bearable, but fun. We decided the theme for Botcon will forever be “Botcon, I come for the lines.” Take that however you will.

The volunteers were wearing these cool “Protectobots” hats with reflective tape.

Two absolutely adorable, handmade seat savers. (I can’t image either Megatron nor Starscream would be too pleased by these ultra-cute renditions.)

The first order of the day on Friday was to watch the Transformers Filmfest, consisting of sixteen fan-made films. This is Ben and his wife watching Ben’s entry. Other great entries were the instructional film “How To Make A Bad Transformer Review Video” and the series of sketches titled “Transformers TV”.

Later that day was the “Stunti-Con-Job” Script Reading, in which such Transformers stars as David Kaye, Neil Ross, and Gregg Berger act out this year’s Botcon comic book. It was brilliant. Then came the intermission, David Kaye reprising his role as Animated Grimlock and Gregg Berger as G1 Grimlock sang “Anything you can do, I can do better”. It was glorious.

The mad charge to get into the Dealer room! Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy!

The centerpiece of the Dealer room was Bumblebee and the vehicles from the movie (closeups of which will can be found in the “The Vehicles” post.)

My favourite movie Autobot, Sideswipe, in all his giant, cut-out glory. (Or “Stabby McWheelfeet” as TFWiki calls him.)

Life-size Transformers: Prime Optimus Prime!

This was my favourite installation, it was huge! When I got my picture taken standing in the hand on Friday morning I noticed a sign that read “be careful with fingers”. By Saturday, the hand was gone (presumably broken by some idiot).

There were lights all over the place this year. Two of my favourite were the ones projecting an Autobot…

…and Decepticon symbol on the carpet.

One of the coolest pieces in the Art Show was this custom Shattered Glass Sky Lynx.Too bad the rest of the modes could only be seen…

…in the one-sheeter that explained all of his other modes.

Another cool piece, The Garbage King.

Animated Matryoshka doll with itttttty-bitty Sari in the center.

On Saturday, the cast of Transformers Prime showed up to read the script to episode 15, “The Shadowzone”. It was immensely entertaining and afterwards they aired the not-yet-seen episode 16.

Then Ravage, the insult cat, showed up to hurl some nerd jokes at us. Very funny stuff.

Back on Thursday, I met Ben’s friends Rhion, Randy, and Vince. On Sunday, Rhion’s birthday, Randy made it his mission to get Rhion’s picture with Animated creators Marty Isenberg and Derrick J. Wyatt. Shortly after this was taken, mission accomplished!

Then, as an added birthday bonus, Rhion got his picture with artist extraordinaire, Marcelo Matere. An awesome way to end the Botcon Dealer Room.

Botcon 2011: The Vehicles!

Due to the fact that there are 82 images total (and that’s out of the 170 that I actually took total), I’m going to split my Botcon photo recap into 4 posts total, with themed galleries. Unfortunately, there doesn’t appear to be a way to set WordPress to allow images to open in a separate window from a gallery, so you might want to right-click to look at the larger images.

Along with the official, stars of the movie franchise inside the Dealer room, there were some other custom Transformer-related vehicles parked outside. Here they are: The Vehicles!

Walking to registration is where we first noticed Ratchet parked off on a side street.

For the rest of the convention, he was parked out front of the building, and he gained a companion…

For whatever reason, Ravage was perched gracefully atop Ratchet for the rest of the convention.

Then I finally got a chance to see Ratchet with his lightbar lit up. Overall, this was easily the most impressive of the customs.

Late Saturday, a custom Trailbreaker showed up!

There was also a 2010 Bumblebee edition Camaro with an autographed engine cover. Ironically, I forgot to take a picture of the actual car. But who needs that when you have…

…the actual Bumblebee himself sitting in the showroom area of the Dealer room inside.

And the bigbot himself, Optimus Prime.

Shiny!

Ratchet’s new, bright paintjob for Dark of the Moon.

Mr. “Let me show you my cannons”, Ironhide.

They all paled, though, next to the beautiful Sideswipe. Though I prefer his non-convertible body, this thing is still a piece of mechanical artwork.

Random shot of Sideswipe’s interior.

Beautiful from any angle.

Botcon 2011: The Cosplay!

Due to the fact that there are 82 images total (and that’s out of the 170 that I actually took total), I’m going to split my Botcon photo recap into 4 posts total, with themed galleries. Unfortunately, there doesn’t appear to be a way to set WordPress to allow images to open in a separate window from a gallery, so you might want to right-click to look at the larger images.

One thing that Botcon proves? The girls still love them some Seekers. Another fun part of Botcon is all the people that dress up as Transformers characters in a multitude of interpretations. This year, the cosplay bar was raised, to an outstanding degree.

The amazement started right off when this giant duo of Grimlock and Devastator came tromping down the registration line, pausing every now and then to have a battle.

Devestator then made sporadic appearances after that to terrorize small children.

Luckily Grimlock was there to keep Devestator in check.

Part of the reason being that this suit seemed to be very, hot for the occupant.

The tops of Devestator and Grimlock, and a girl dressed as… Lockdown, maybe?

This kid was a great little Wheelie.

Complete with slingshot to launch projectiles at Grimlock. “Why kid hit nose?”

On Saturday a second Devestator showed up. He might not have been as large as the other Devestator but he definitely gets point for entertainment value.

Along with this little scene on his shoulder, he had speakers built into the suit to play Transformers theme music from his ipod.

Ultra Magnus, waving an “I can’t deal with that now” at some fans.

Bludgeon’s Pretender shell! This was a pretty inspired choice of costume.

A loose interpretation of Hot Rod or Rodimus? Either way, it’s a pretty fabulous outfit.

This Stampy, the bunny-bot from Beast Wars Neo, was another inspired choice.

Then Sunstorm showed up. She immediately started doing air guitar. Naturally.

One of Animated’s ninjas, Jazz, looked a little tense.

Then came Animated’s femme-fatale, Blackarachnia.

The Animated parade continued with that double-dealing, no good swindler, Swindle. To Swindle’s left is none other than Animated creator, Derrick J. Wyatt.

Speaking of Animated, how about Botcon exclusive toy Animated Dragstrip? Love it!

Kicker was there, sword fighting everyone in the vicinity, oh yeah, and being a girl (nothing against Kicker, the cosplayer was actually a girl.)

Shockwave, Bumblebee, Soundwave, and Arcee! I am just going to assume that the two dudes are supposed to be Masterforce’s Hydra and Buster. However, they might just be two dudes.

These next four are just unimaginably awesome. Pictures don’t do as much justice. Ironhide here looked a tad too skinny, but still amazing.

Bumblebee, a crowd favourite.

My personal favourite was Jazz. (And, just for the record, that’s a girl in there.)

Starscream was just huuuuge! So intricate, the details are just crazy.

Here’s a group shot just to show how big Starscream was.

There was a disassembled Brawl as well, but I never saw anyone wearing it.

Botcon 2011: (Some of) The Toys!

Due to the fact that there are 82 images total (and that’s out of the 170 that I actually took total), I’m going to split my Botcon photo recap into 4 posts total, with themed galleries. Unfortunately, there doesn’t appear to be a way to set WordPress to allow images to open in a separate window from a gallery, so you might want to right-click to look at the larger images.

The toys are what this blog is all about, and naturally there were a ton of them, but I am only going to show a few. Mostly because all of the rest of the toy shots I took were of toys that will eventually make their way into regular posts here. That and the fact that the really new toys were shown in the Hasbro panel with very strict “no photos allowed!” guidelines.

A whole lot of boxsets. The toys contained within will be showing soon… very soon.

The box for one of the two club exclusives this year. Animated Transtech Cheetor and G2: Redux Ramjet should be shipping soon!

The one part of the Botcon exclusives I did not buy this year. The Animated Autotroopers just didn’t do it for me. The mold, however, was used for the wonderful Animated Ironfist, the free attendee toy this year. He will be making his appearance on this blog on Thursday.

I was set to be skeptical about the Kre-O’s (not Legos!!) but they actually impressed me. I don’t plan on buying most of the kits, but I will buy the large size Optimus one. Speaking of large size both Bumblebee…

…and Optimus showed up in extra, extra large size!

This Optimus made out of blocks was pretty darned big too.

Two of the walls were adorned with blocks in the form of Optimus…

…and Megatron. I can’t imagine how much work created these murals must have taken.

Here’s one of the main reasons I will be buying the large Optimus Kre-O kit, it comes with the Skywarp Kreon! (And Bluestreak, strangely enough.)

One of the highlights of the toy announcements was 25th Anniversary, Amazon Exclusive, anime accurate Unicron using the new anime accurate headsculpt from the recent Takara Unicron release. I will be ordering this the very moment I am able to.

This is one I hope to get, but not sure how easy it will be. One of the SDCC exclusives this year is a Transformers Prime Optimus in Matrix-shaped packaging. I’m really hoping these show up on HasbroToyShop.com after SDCC like last year’s exclusives.

There were some great toy cases showcasing toys of the Hall of Fame inductees for 2010 and 2011. I forgot to go back to see if a case was added for the 2011 fan-choice, Waspinator..

Mad scientist, crackpot inventor, Autobot extraordinaire, Wheeljack!

“Invention, it must be humbly admitted, does not consist in creating out of void, but out of chaos;”

~Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley

Wheeljack has most likely never read Frankenstein, and would probably not much care to be compared to the titular Doctor. The comparison really isn’t far off the mark, though. In episode 17, “Autobot Spike”, Wheeljack even assists in the creation of the Autobots very own rendition of Frankenstein’s monster. Throughout his career as the Autobot’s mad scientist… I mean, “Mechanical Engineer”, he has created just as many gadgets that have injured himself as he has weapons that can be safely used in the fight against the Decepticons. However, the ones that work, work really well,

“…their deadly effectiveness has earned him the respect of friends and enemies alike.”

Even with this, though, he’s not your standard science nerd.

“He is also the Autobot most adept at driving while in his automobile mode and has pulled off tricks that Hollywood stunt drivers haven’t even dreamed of yet. He fully enjoys showing off when the opportunity presents itself.”

Additionally, he’s one of the only 1984 Autobots capable of flight in robot mode. In other words, he’s not completely useless once you take him out of his lab. It’s this that has earned him his spot as my favourite Autobot.

I have always been partial to the scientist-types, but I am especially partial to a stunt-driving speed demon scientist that also has a shoulder mounted multi-type shell launcher capable of also firing ”a shrapnel-needle shell, which explodes into millions of hair-thin filaments that can pierce even the strongest armor”. That just sounds mean. Wheeljack is also one of the few Transformers I can specifically recall buying as a kid.

Naturally, this status made him a must-find once his Generations release was announced. He did give me a little bit of a scare, as he was amongst ”the final three”, along with Thundercracker and Warpath. He was elusive, but finally, he was mine.

"Maybe I should invent a machine that fires exploding wrenches."

This toy is amazing. Even though he is a retool of the previously released Reveal the Shield Tracks, you can put the two robots right next to each other and not immediately know it.

One of the things that helps is that in place of Tracks’ signature shoulder missle launchers, the toy designers have cleverly remolded them to use the c-clamps as the heads of a pair of wrenches.

"You know how it can be with these older models."

Then Wheeljack uses Tracks’ gun as his own shoulder-mounted shell launcher. The change in weaponry combined with Wheeljack’s remolded wings and reversed leg transformation make them distinctly different. All of this detailing topped off with a brand-new headsculpt also ensures that Wheeljack is distinctly Wheeljack.

Being a toy-centric collector, I am a little sad he didn’t come with two shell launchers, but the single one is consistent with a majority of his fictional appearances. That being said, I will most likely steal Tracks’ gun and put it on Wheeljack as a second shoulder launcher.

G1 Wheeljack’s alt-mode is a Lancia Stratos Turbo, specifically the Turbo 5 design used for closed track endurance racing. Another part of Generations Wheeljack’s remolding is that his alt mode has added ground effects in the front and a spoiler in the back to better resemble his G1 incarnation. Of course, he has lost his racing sponsorship stickers in the interest of avoiding licensing issues.

But wait! Who is that third Wheeljack up there? Turns out, officially at least, it’s not Wheeljack at all. It’s Energon Downshift.

For whatever reason, the ‘bot above was not named Wheeljack in Energon. However, he was named Wheeljack in the Japanese version of Energon, called Transformers: Super Link. Whatever the logic behind calling him Downshift here, he will always be Energon Wheeljack to me.

The resemblance is uncanny.

Which then leads us to this guy.

This is the Decepticon Slicer from Botcon 2010′s G2: Redux line. So what is he doing in a post about Wheeljack? First, as Slicer he is a meta-homage to Wheeljack because the original Slicer was a redeco of Action Master Wheeljack and now he is a redeco of Energon Wheeljack.

However, the real reason he is here is because he is not just an homage to Wheeljack, he’s also simultaneously Wheeljack himself! I know what you’re thinking, “Y U no make sense?”

Take a closer look at the Autobot symbol molded into his breastplate.

Notice how it’s purple? Those clever, clever folks at the Transformers Collectors Club actually managed to release this guy as the Decepticon Slicer and the evil Shattered Glass Autobot Wheeljack at the same time.

Energon Wheeljack has an autobot symbol in the spark crystal in one of his wheels.

Slicer replaces this with a Decepticon spark crystal and painted Decepticon symbols on his doors.

To further strengthen this connection, they even included an epilogue to the 2010 Botcon Timelines comic in which Shattered Glass Wheeljack, pretending to be G2: Redux Slicer from the future, fools Slicer into handing over some valuable Forestonite. Yeah, Slicer is not too bright.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot: also, Slicer is French. (For more on how that is possible, you'll just have to check out his TFWiki entry.)

Of course, being based on an Energon toy, both he and Energon Wheeljack have the ability to Powerlink, so you can actually make a Frankenstein-ish (like how I brought the post full circle like that?) amalgamation of Energon not-officially-Wheeljack and Botcon sort-of-official-ish-Wheeljack

The very definition of a Wheeljack at odds with himself.

The greatest of sharks? ~ That is what he claims to be. ~ Cybershark is sad. Sky-Byte!

Sky-Byte shouldn’t still be a thing. He was a repaint in a line of repaints; the Predacons of Robots in Disguise (with the one exception being the new mold for R.i.D. Megatron). Additionally, he is a repaint of a Beast Wars shark toy — Cybershark — that has no articulation to speak of in alt-mode and a frustratingly difficult transformation, resulting in a robot mode with decent articulation hampered by shark pieces hanging off his back.

But Sky-Byte is still a thing.

"Made it, Ma! Top of the world!"

The reason for this is simple: his character. I have gone on and on about how much I love Robots in Disguise. How much I adore the wonderfully insane series as a whole is eclipsed by how much I want a sequel with Sky-Byte as the main character. Never has watching a bad-guy fail so miserably and consistently been more fun. If you haven’t taken the opportunity to watch Robots in Disguise, I strongly suggest at least watching Sky-Byte’s episodes. The antics of this haiku writing (did you notice the post title is a haiku in honour of our esteemed poet?), neurotically insecure, flying land-shark are well worth it.

In this way, his toy’s frozen swimming pose in alt-mode just helps it better embody the character in the cartoon.

Notice the rust on the screw in his nose? Sky-Byte was a victim of the same basement flooding that cost my G1 Dirge his wing stickers.

As a toy to play with, it would probably be more frustrating, but as a display piece, he’s grand. The detailing and paint applications makes the original Cybershark toy look positively bland in comparison. The cartoon also makes plenty of use out of the fact that his missle launchers can be deployed in alt-mode.

You have something in your teeth there.

As for that aforementioned robot mode with slightly hampered arm articulation? It is also a great display piece with a lot of effort put into the detailing.

Check out the shark fin mohawk. Too cool.

Of course, he can wield his missle launcher in robot mode as well.

Inheriting the snarky sneer on his face from Cybershark, it makes him appear just about as serious as he actually is in the cartoon. It was this wealth of character that made the Transformers Collectors Club’s decision to give us a new Sky-Byte toy as part of the Botcon 2010 set quite welcome. This time Sky-Byte would be not just a repaint but a remold of a previous toy. Taking the old Energon Sharkticon mold (one of my favourites from an otherwise dissappointing toyline), repainting it to match the colouring and assymetrical detailing of the original Sky-Byte toy, they also added a head that matched the original.

Sky-Byte is just happy to have two actual hands finally.

My only complaint would be that rather than the vaguely mad look on the original Sky-Byte toy, the Timelines toy has a very distinctly angry face instead. Crazy will always be more interesting than pissed off. Just like the original Energon toy, Sky-Byte is able to rotate his missle launcher forward in robot mode.

Now, instead of being in charge (only barely) of three incompetent Predacons, Sky-Byte has command of a legion of ravenous Sharkticons. The “Troop Builder” set sold at Botcon 2010 were three identical Sharkticons — straight repaints of Energon Sharkticon — to serve as a part his troops. His troops are painted to mimic the original Sharkticons from the Animated Movie (1986).

"Attaaaaaaaaack!" "Omnomnomnomnomnom. Tasty Autobots!!!"

In fact, his profile calls out that:

“Were he more competent and less given to overblown theatrics that leave him vulnerable, he’d be one of the Autobots’ greatest threats.”

Some things never change, including both his ego and his artistic endeavors,

“He sees himself as a sophisticated warrior poet, the self-proclaimed “greatest shark around,” composing haiku about the robots in disguise he’s about to deactivate”

Rather than a Cyber-enhanced Earth shark, this Predacon General has an alt-mode that is best described as a Cybertronic spaceship/submarine (though his boxart calls him a “boat”.) Whatever he is supposed to be, one thing is for certain, he is absolutely covered in weaponry.

In addition to all those turrets (which swivel and pivot up and down!) he can also open up his missle launchers in this mode.

Thanks to that unique and ridiculously fun personality, Sky-Byte has been ensconced as a permanent piece of the Transformers mythos. He was even referenced in the book Transformers Animated: The Allspark Alamanac. The Animated  almanac keeps his personality but unfortunately takes his look in a whole new, somewhat terrifying direction.

All those teeth are just in case you don't like his poetry.

A look more in line with his original incarnation did surface, from the sketches of the original Animated artisit, Derrick J. Wyatt.

I really love the head design, but I’m not really digging the lack of “sharkiness” about the proposed alt-mode. Either way, it would be great to see him show up in some kind of Animated fiction — my fingers are crossed for the comic book that features this year’s Animated themed Botcon set.

I just can’t get enough of this guy.

~ Sky-Byte is so cool. ~

~ Precisely because he’s not. ~

~ Greatest shark indeed. ~

No matter what dimension, he’s the coolest cat you know. Jazz!

Jazz is cool. Maybe the coolest dude in Transformers history. What makes Jazz so cool? Even though he is hip and likes nothing better than to jam out to Earth music of all kinds, he is Optimus Prime’s right hand ‘bot because he still has the goods to take on just about anybody in a fight and come out on top.

“Special Ops”. Not only does that phrase describe his function, it has also become appended to his name. See, everyone wants to be like Jazz, or at least use his name. Hasbro no longer has a trademark on “Jazz”, so his toys have had the word “Autobot” affixed to it since his 2003 Commemorative Series re-issue. With a slight break for the Alternators line, when his toy sported his Japanese name “Meister”, all Jazz toys in every toyline has simply been “Autobot Jazz”, that is until his Reveal the Shield release as ”Special Ops Jazz”.

This release is astoundingly good. I can think of absolutely nothing wrong with this toy, it is perfect; keeping all the style of the G1 toy while providing exceptional articulation.

Just look at his feet! They perfectly retained the detailing down to the G1 toy’s feet.

This is one case where using a made-up vehicle for alt-mode works really well. Jazz’s new alt-mode looks pretty much like a combination of his original alt-mode, the Martini Racing Porsche 935 Turbo, and his alt-mode from the 2007 movie, a Pontiac Solstice.

Then the designers go that extra step to prove how much they really do love the fans.

It’s hard to tell from this picture, but he’s totally doing the Robot.

Speakers! Beyond his much purported love of music in general, this harkens back to his cartoon appearance, where he would occasionally deploy speakers and use them as sonic weaponry.

 In accordance with this, his new toy is able to deploy his speakers in alt-mode as well.

The speakers can also be attached to extend his gun, but I’m not really sure what the point of that would be. They’re speakers. No gun on the planet is going to be as cool as a robot sporting speakers.

Speaking of cool, Jazz is so cool he’s cool regardless of the dimension he exists in.

Jazz’s evil counterpart shows up in the alternate reality of Shattered Glass. As the evil bodyguard of the evil Autobot Leader evil Optimus Prime himself (did you catch all that eeeeevil?), he replaces all of the racing stickers with inspirational messages such as “Kill to Win” and “Massacre Racing”, despite this, he still follows G1 Jazz’s mantra:

“Everything he does has to be with style, from talking to simply transforming.”

All this and he talks like B.A. Baracus.

Even Jazz’s silver Pontiac Solstice namesake in the 2007 movie – after being brought back from his unfortunate fate at the end of the movie – took a toy spin in the familiar red, white, blue, and the number “4″ with an eye towards style.

“Just because he’s supposed to be in disguise doesn’t mean that he can’t be noticed. With help from Bumblebee and Autobot Ratchet, he picked this color scheme as the one most likely to get him appreciative looks from all the humans the passes on the freeway.”

Winner for best light-piped eyes? Maybe.

Somehow Cybertron Elite Guard member Animated Jazz even manages to ratchet up the cool factor; replacing the “Special Ops” description with a new job title,

“Jazz has studied Earth culture since he first became aware of it. He loves everything about it – the music, the movies, the vehicles, and – of course – the style. He’s usually a pretty chill guy, being a cyber-ninja and all, but he can barely contain his excitement at finally getting to check out Earth and give his new vehicle mode a spin.”

Nunchaku. Wielding. Cyber. Ninja.

Jazz is just the coolest guy you know, no matter what version of reality you live in.

Represent.

From bookmark, to near-miss, and then redemption. From Armada to Shattered Glass Blurr!

Armada Blurr is a bookmark. It’s a thing that happens in Transformers. When it comes to trademarks, the rule is ”Use it, or lose it”. Basically, if Hasbro does not use a name they will be in danger of losing the trademark, hence Armada Blurr.

Forget speedster, with all that hanging off the back of him, I'd be surprised if he could muster a vigorous stroll.

As a toy, his main problem is that a good portion of his vehicle mode hangs off his back. That combined with a lack of knees means he has very little leg articulation. Despite that, he is still a pretty good display piece with a great racecar-inspired helmet for a headsculpt. What earns Armada Blurr the title of “bookmark” is, cartoon and toy, Armada Blurr does not behave, sound, or look anything like G1 Blurr. He’s not even abnormally fast. Though his tech spec states that he has “ultra speed”, Armada Hot Shot shares his “9″ Speed rating. Vehicle mode is where the dubious tie to the original comes in. By “tie”, I mean they share the fact that they are sleek, futuristic race cars… completely disimilarly designed, sleek, futuristic race cars.

Vrooooom! X 2

As a part of the Armada line, he comes with his little minicon partner, Incinerator.

So, you've got a guy named Blurr that isn't all that especially fast teamed up with a guy named Incinerator that isn't all that especially talented at setting things on fire.

One of Armada Blurr’s cooler features — and something that further distances himself from the original Blurr — is that when he and Incinerator powerlink, Blurr gains a third flight-based alt-mode.

Who needs speed anyway when you can just fly?

Three years after Armada, in the Cybertron line, they choose to re-release Blurr but had to retool him. Mostly this was done to compensate for the fact that the gimmick of this year’s line was “Cyber Planet Keys”. This means that instead of jamming a minicon into the back-end of his alt-mode to activate flight mode, you jam a small, plastic key instead. Along with the retooling to the mechanism and housing on the back of his vehicle mode, they also gave him a new, more G1 Blurr-esque head and paintjob.  

"My toy can't actually bend like this."

Unfortunately, for reasons I don’t entirely remember — but that I strongly suspect have to do with how angry I still was at Hasbro about most of the Energon toyline — I never bought Cybertron Blurr.

That’s where the rather yawn-inspiring legacy of Blurr sat until 2008 brought us two things. First, the unparelleled style of Transformers: Animated and with it, the superb speedster Animated Blurr.

Second, the Transformers Collectors Club and Botcon brought us the universe of Shattered Glass. Everything had been turned on its head, the evil leader of the villainous Autobots, Optimus Prime, is a mentally deranged psychopath with the habit of talking to the deceased bodies of his victims that, hanging from hooks and chains, adorn his headquarters.

Eep.

Among his cruel, malicious crew is his Data Interceptor, Blurr (a reversal of G1 Blurr’s job as “Data Courier“.) Shattered Glass Blurr fits right in with this vicious bunch. First he uses his speed to immobilize his prey, then he uses his intellect to “meticulously disassemble” “their processors, slowly explaining the entire process in excruciating detail to each victim”. Yeah, he’s a grossly immoral nutjob. As if all of this grand characterization wasn’t enough, they took the retooled Cybertron Blurr mold and re-retooled it to add a new, even more G1 Blurr-esque head… only evil… and with an eye-patch. Seriously.

Sooooo angry. Also, check out the purple-coloured "evil" Autobot symbol.

In robot mode, he is mostly dark shades of silver-flecked blue.

For alt-mode, his new paintjob is as black as his spark, run-through with blue lines resembling electricity, and a single, silver stripe running from hood to roof.

Never has the phrase "wicked fast" been so appropriate.

Of course, he retains the mold’s Cyber Planet Key gimmick.

As much as I love an awesome toy, I equally love great characterization. However, in this case, great fiction, an intricate, fitting paintjob, and a wicked new headsculpt all conspired to redeem an otherwise lackluster toy.