Boba Fett? Boba Fett? Where? Someone find me a Sarlaac pit, quick. Crossovers Boba Fett!

I’ve wanted to like a Crossovers toy. I’ve tried. I even went so far as to get the Millennium Falcon that “transformed” into Han Solo and Chewbacca. By “transformed into”, I mean to say the pieces of the ship were split in half and then spread across two rough approximations of humanoid-ish figures whose heads were then made to almost resemble Han Solo and Chewbacca’s heads if you had been drinking heavily, and were mostly blind. I piled the whole mess back into its box and returned it to the store immediately, glaring at the lady that processed my refund as if she had personally slighted me by allowing this travesty to be sold in the first place. I haven’t gone within a foot of the Crossovers side of the aisle since then.

Because my nostalgic love for the Star Wars Bounty Hunter Boba Fett, coupled with a half-off price, was stronger than my common sense, I recently purchased him. True to the rest of the Transformers/Star Wars Crossovers I have seen online, his vehicle mode is pretty much spot on and doesn’t show any outward signs of transforming into a robot.

Hi. I am never again leaving this mode.

Then I transformed him. This strict adherence to these iconic Star Wars vehicle modes comes with a price. A very steep price. By giving the designer no leeway whatsoever, there is absolutely no way of creating anything other than a blocking, misshapen inarticulate rough approximation of a humanoid figure. The one thing Boba Fett has going for him over my previous experience is that his head is already a robot-like helmet, and faithfully reproduced here. The rest of him, however, is a matchstick legged, pot-bellied eyesore with balance issues. Oh yeah, and Designing Women’s Julia Sugarbaker called, she would like her shoulder poufs back.

Belly of a couch potato, protuding hips of a malnourished model.

Oh well, next time I should just trust my instincts. It could be worse, I could have bought one of the Marvel Crossovers Transformers. Pointless vehicle mode and a horribly bad robot mode? Oof.

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